Since I have been posting a lot of these little design snippets lately, I've decided to make them into a series in order to more fully record the frustrations and creative new forms of torture I and my design cohorts often experience due to clients and vendors.
This is how the people fighting for our country make art:
Step One: Design ad in Powerpoint at the wrong dimensions.
Note: Artwork in Powerpoint is inherently RGB and 72 dpi (intended for screen art only, like slideshows.
Step Two: Print ad out in color.
Note: We have no idea what kind of printer this was printed on, but 72 dpi is not acceptable for printed artwork regardless.
Step Three: Scan printed ad so you can make it into a "digital pdf." (As opposed to an analog pdf?)
Step Four: Send "artwork" to graphic designer who will place your incorrectly sized, low resolution artwork complete with printer artifacting and a line through the middle into their layout.
Step Five: Load up on ammo and get ready to fend off an attack by several disgruntled graphic designers.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
That's No Moon...That's a Kingdom Hearts
I finally picked up Kingdom Hearts II again and finished it. I'm going to keep this fairly vague so that lizalou doesn't get spoiled or anything, but I wanted to record my reactions.
I have to say that Xehanort is on my shit list for having far more forms and life bars than even a final boss should have. Plus, that dude has some scary lips. But, at the very least, I was grateful that he didn't go around saying, "Come into the darkness," every five seconds like Ansem did at the end of the first Kingdom Hearts. Boy was he a bitch though. That final form really pissed me off--especially with the Triangle/X alternating action at the end. Let's just say my carpal tunnel ain't doin' so hot today.
Christopher Lee is an amazing actor, but I believe the word he performs best is the word "fool." Apparently, the KH crew felt the same way since he managed to squeeze in the words "fool," "foolish," and "foolishness" before the end of the game more times than Ash did in Galerians. It was truly impressive. I don't claim to understand everything there is to know about Ansem, but I am pretty sure that he's a fool, whatever the case. In fact, he just might be a foolish fool.
Boy that Organization XIII is one clandestine organization. (I threw that in just for BBD in case he's reading.) They're so secretive I still don't entirely understand what they were after. I get the basics, but really what was the point of it all anyway? They made a heart shaped moon. And I'm going to make an educated guess it was made out of cheese as well considering the cheesiness of the dialogue--oh, and (here's another one for BBD) the pretentiousness as well. All of the Organization guys love their big words. It's almost painfully dense in the rare and antiquated vocabulary category. Come on guys, this is a kid's game! Still, that doesn't take away from the fact that most of the XIII guys are pretty hot. And we can't forget about Axel. Not all XIII members are given the same rigorous vocab training, it seems. Or maybe they are all given that training, but it just sticks better for some than others. This could shed some light on Axel's favorite catch phrase. Perhaps it is a byproduct of the trauma involved in remembering words. "Got it memorized?"
Poor Roxas. I've been saying that from the beginning, and though he didn't have an unhappy ending it left me feeling wistful. But I won't say more here in this mostly spoiler-free post. I'm sad to say that I really do like him better than Sora. But now I feel guilty for saying that. Sorry, Sora.
The Little Mermaid shall not be spoken of here, other than to mention I never want to hear about Ursula's poopsies again. I've also had just about enough of Seifer saying "Isn't this romantic?" because I went back and did the Struggle thing again thinking I'd get something good out of it but was sadly disappointed. I should have looked up the walkthrough before I wasted my time. I just had such hopes that there would be an extra Setzer something... I was also surprised that Rinoa never showed up after all--surprised, but relieved. Our luck her voice would probably be played by someone like Reba West (or whatever name she's going by now--why, oh why do English voice actors have SO MANY different names?!), although Minmei just might have been better than the chick who played Aeris. Ouch.
Overall I was very satisfied with the game--although some parts of Aladdin and Lion King had me ready to lose my lunch with the camera angle craziness (they got me almost as bad as Katamari Damacy). I have to say, though, that some points in the plot still left me a little confused. Maybe I'm missing something, but why are the creatures created from a person's missing heart called "Heartless" and the empty bodies left behind when a heartless is created is called a "Nobody." The nobodys have bodies and the heartless have hearts. Isn't that rather back asswards? And I thought the heartless were called that because they were what was left behind when a person lost their heart and there for had no heart. But now it seems that they do have hearts because half the point of this game was that while Sora was killing heartless he was releasing hearts and inadvertantly aiding the Organization's nefarious plan--whatever that was. I mean I know what they were trying to do, but I just don't get why exactly.
But in the end, the plot isn't so important to me. They certainly wrapped it up far better than I thought they would. In the end, it was about pretty people, adorable characters, fun gameplay and lots and lots of button mashing. I'll have to go back and play it again. Really. Because I should have known better than to choose "standard" mode. Maybe I'll just borrow neowolf's save point so I can see the extra secret ending in hi res...
I have to say that Xehanort is on my shit list for having far more forms and life bars than even a final boss should have. Plus, that dude has some scary lips. But, at the very least, I was grateful that he didn't go around saying, "Come into the darkness," every five seconds like Ansem did at the end of the first Kingdom Hearts. Boy was he a bitch though. That final form really pissed me off--especially with the Triangle/X alternating action at the end. Let's just say my carpal tunnel ain't doin' so hot today.
Christopher Lee is an amazing actor, but I believe the word he performs best is the word "fool." Apparently, the KH crew felt the same way since he managed to squeeze in the words "fool," "foolish," and "foolishness" before the end of the game more times than Ash did in Galerians. It was truly impressive. I don't claim to understand everything there is to know about Ansem, but I am pretty sure that he's a fool, whatever the case. In fact, he just might be a foolish fool.
Boy that Organization XIII is one clandestine organization. (I threw that in just for BBD in case he's reading.) They're so secretive I still don't entirely understand what they were after. I get the basics, but really what was the point of it all anyway? They made a heart shaped moon. And I'm going to make an educated guess it was made out of cheese as well considering the cheesiness of the dialogue--oh, and (here's another one for BBD) the pretentiousness as well. All of the Organization guys love their big words. It's almost painfully dense in the rare and antiquated vocabulary category. Come on guys, this is a kid's game! Still, that doesn't take away from the fact that most of the XIII guys are pretty hot. And we can't forget about Axel. Not all XIII members are given the same rigorous vocab training, it seems. Or maybe they are all given that training, but it just sticks better for some than others. This could shed some light on Axel's favorite catch phrase. Perhaps it is a byproduct of the trauma involved in remembering words. "Got it memorized?"
Poor Roxas. I've been saying that from the beginning, and though he didn't have an unhappy ending it left me feeling wistful. But I won't say more here in this mostly spoiler-free post. I'm sad to say that I really do like him better than Sora. But now I feel guilty for saying that. Sorry, Sora.
The Little Mermaid shall not be spoken of here, other than to mention I never want to hear about Ursula's poopsies again. I've also had just about enough of Seifer saying "Isn't this romantic?" because I went back and did the Struggle thing again thinking I'd get something good out of it but was sadly disappointed. I should have looked up the walkthrough before I wasted my time. I just had such hopes that there would be an extra Setzer something... I was also surprised that Rinoa never showed up after all--surprised, but relieved. Our luck her voice would probably be played by someone like Reba West (or whatever name she's going by now--why, oh why do English voice actors have SO MANY different names?!), although Minmei just might have been better than the chick who played Aeris. Ouch.
Overall I was very satisfied with the game--although some parts of Aladdin and Lion King had me ready to lose my lunch with the camera angle craziness (they got me almost as bad as Katamari Damacy). I have to say, though, that some points in the plot still left me a little confused. Maybe I'm missing something, but why are the creatures created from a person's missing heart called "Heartless" and the empty bodies left behind when a heartless is created is called a "Nobody." The nobodys have bodies and the heartless have hearts. Isn't that rather back asswards? And I thought the heartless were called that because they were what was left behind when a person lost their heart and there for had no heart. But now it seems that they do have hearts because half the point of this game was that while Sora was killing heartless he was releasing hearts and inadvertantly aiding the Organization's nefarious plan--whatever that was. I mean I know what they were trying to do, but I just don't get why exactly.
But in the end, the plot isn't so important to me. They certainly wrapped it up far better than I thought they would. In the end, it was about pretty people, adorable characters, fun gameplay and lots and lots of button mashing. I'll have to go back and play it again. Really. Because I should have known better than to choose "standard" mode. Maybe I'll just borrow neowolf's save point so I can see the extra secret ending in hi res...
Friday, August 25, 2006
Say What?
I'm trying to read some handwritten notes that were faxed over by a client. Ironically, one of the few things I can make out from the unintelligibly scrawled mess is this phrase: "increasingly difficult to decipher."
The irony hurts.
The irony hurts.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Poor Lonely Pluto
Pluto holds a special place in my heart--mostly because of Robotech and this line: "Life was returning to normal for the citizens of Macross City--if you can call normal living in a giant space ship near the orbit of Pluto." So, it is especially ironic, considering my most recent post, that Pluto was stripped of its planetary status today. (Incidentally, I am also a fan of Pluto because of Sephiroth's "supernova" attack in Final Fantasy VII. I don't know why that is "incidental" at all, but I couldn't help mentioning it.)
Frankly, it strikes me as a little silly that there are people out there debating whether or not Pluto is a planet while there are so many serious, catastrophic things going on the world. Obviously, I spend much of my time thinking about silly things too, so I don't have much room to talk, but my point is that I don't spend my research money thinking about them, and even if I did, my thoughts probably wouldn't make national news. And poor Pluto, anyway. I bet it's crying right now as it loops slowly around the sun on its lonely, distant orbit. Boo hoo. At least it has Charon to keep it company, eh?
If you are feeling Pluto's pain, maybe you should buy one of these bumper stickers. I can't believe someone's already created this when the news just hit today...
Read more about how Pluto got demoted here.
Frankly, it strikes me as a little silly that there are people out there debating whether or not Pluto is a planet while there are so many serious, catastrophic things going on the world. Obviously, I spend much of my time thinking about silly things too, so I don't have much room to talk, but my point is that I don't spend my research money thinking about them, and even if I did, my thoughts probably wouldn't make national news. And poor Pluto, anyway. I bet it's crying right now as it loops slowly around the sun on its lonely, distant orbit. Boo hoo. At least it has Charon to keep it company, eh?
If you are feeling Pluto's pain, maybe you should buy one of these bumper stickers. I can't believe someone's already created this when the news just hit today...
Read more about how Pluto got demoted here.
Robotech Sequel
Ah, I do love my Robotech. It's some good cheesy fun times. And though that last sentence didn't make any sense, it's okay because I'm talking about Robotech. Well, neowolf and I were reliving some of the Robotech joy last night and decided to research the wonderfully cheesy voice actors.
Robotech and Lupin III are among the small, very small, nearly microscopic collection of Anime that I can actually stand to watch in English. Of course, there is little choice with Robotech unless you want to watch one of the orginal Japanese series Harmony Gold reconstituted in order to create it. And, really, what would the story be without Minmei's horrid singing voice, Captain Gloval's Russian accent and the Narrator's constant melodramatic interruptions? Nowhere I'd want to be, at least. At any rate, I think it is no coincidence that most of the voice actors from Robotech also play roles in Lupin. This just might have something to do with why I like both of these English dubs.
After the reminder of how much we love these actors, we decided to look them up online and see what they looked like. We did a Google image search for Tony Oliver, the voice actor for Rick Hunter in Robotech. Obviously, "Tony Oliver" is not a highly unusual name, so we expected a few red herrings in the results. And yet, we both immediately chose the man who was in the second row from the top on the far left. And that was the correct Tony Oliver! It was like we already knew him somehow...
Here is a screencap of the results page:
In all of our researching, we noticed a similar thread. Many of the Robotech voice actors had "Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles" listed in their credits, but we had never heard of it before. (Of course I thought first of the Shadows in Babylon 5.) As we soon learned though, this is a new movie scheduled to come out in November 2006--created 20 years after the orginal Robotech was made. We were ecstatic! It's new Robotech with all the same voice actors we know and love--though it looks like Cam Clark isn't on the roster which means no Max and no Yellow Dancer...sigh. But Scott looks hot. And I can't wait to hear him say "MARLEEEENE!"
Oh yeah! You kick ass, Harmony Gold. I can forgive you for the hideous text effects in Robotech's opening credits. You were true to the fans and managed to get the rights to the characters to make this. Thank you.
Check out the trailer
Robotech and Lupin III are among the small, very small, nearly microscopic collection of Anime that I can actually stand to watch in English. Of course, there is little choice with Robotech unless you want to watch one of the orginal Japanese series Harmony Gold reconstituted in order to create it. And, really, what would the story be without Minmei's horrid singing voice, Captain Gloval's Russian accent and the Narrator's constant melodramatic interruptions? Nowhere I'd want to be, at least. At any rate, I think it is no coincidence that most of the voice actors from Robotech also play roles in Lupin. This just might have something to do with why I like both of these English dubs.
After the reminder of how much we love these actors, we decided to look them up online and see what they looked like. We did a Google image search for Tony Oliver, the voice actor for Rick Hunter in Robotech. Obviously, "Tony Oliver" is not a highly unusual name, so we expected a few red herrings in the results. And yet, we both immediately chose the man who was in the second row from the top on the far left. And that was the correct Tony Oliver! It was like we already knew him somehow...
Here is a screencap of the results page:
In all of our researching, we noticed a similar thread. Many of the Robotech voice actors had "Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles" listed in their credits, but we had never heard of it before. (Of course I thought first of the Shadows in Babylon 5.) As we soon learned though, this is a new movie scheduled to come out in November 2006--created 20 years after the orginal Robotech was made. We were ecstatic! It's new Robotech with all the same voice actors we know and love--though it looks like Cam Clark isn't on the roster which means no Max and no Yellow Dancer...sigh. But Scott looks hot. And I can't wait to hear him say "MARLEEEENE!"
Oh yeah! You kick ass, Harmony Gold. I can forgive you for the hideous text effects in Robotech's opening credits. You were true to the fans and managed to get the rights to the characters to make this. Thank you.
Check out the trailer
George and Mary
Salton is not a holy company. They produce cheap kitchen appliances, half of which have a tendancy to explode or fall apart quickly after their first use. I use the term "produce" loosely since they don't make anything themselves anymore; they buy all their products from a factory in China and the cartons, instruction manuals, etc are all produced there as well. This isn't unusual, and if we're listing corporate, Salton is certainly not the only sinner.
Regardless, some poor schmuck in St. Louis has found a claim to fame through the grease spot left behind by his hamburger on his George Foreman grill.
Here's the article from MSN:
Click here for a full slideshow if you dare.
I really think this could be a new marketing tactic for Salton if they're up for it. The front of the Grill packaging already has an image of George holding up a sign that reads "Lean Mean Grilling Machine" or some variation of that phrase. Why not add the Virgin Mary as well, praying for your health?
Why not? I hope I really don't have to answer that question.
Regardless, some poor schmuck in St. Louis has found a claim to fame through the grease spot left behind by his hamburger on his George Foreman grill.
Here's the article from MSN:
Virgin Mary Spotted In Foreman Grill Tray
A St. Louis man claims to have seen an image of the Virgin Mary, but you're not going to believe where he says her face appears.
John Milanos was cooking a hamburger on his George Foreman Grill last week in Missouri.
After he was done he says the holy mother's face appeared in the leftover grease.
The grease was in a small plastic drip pan that catches the grease and other fluids that run off the grill.
Milanos saved the grease in his refrigerator so he could show his friends and the makers of the George Foreman Grill.
So far, the company has not responded to Milanos.
Click here for a full slideshow if you dare.
I really think this could be a new marketing tactic for Salton if they're up for it. The front of the Grill packaging already has an image of George holding up a sign that reads "Lean Mean Grilling Machine" or some variation of that phrase. Why not add the Virgin Mary as well, praying for your health?
Why not? I hope I really don't have to answer that question.
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