Sometimes I do. I try so hard sometimes and it just doesn't make any difference. I'm misinterpreted, people think the worst of me and jump to conclusions that I'm trying to be mean. I don't understand it. Evidently I don't know how to communicate with people very well, or maybe I just have a knack for pissing people off without meaning to. Sometimes I'm just stupid and push people's buttons without knowing they're there—though I suppose I should know better.
Either way, it kind of frustrates me that anyone who knows me would think I would mean to hurt them or intentionally say things to upset them. Do they really know me at all? Anyone who does know me would know that's the last thing I mean to do. Good intentions have rarely done me any good though because people always seem to assume my intentions are bad. Sometimes I just get tired of it. It seems like I just keep trying to get past this flaw—figure out what it is about how I say things that upsets people so I can fix it. I try and try and never get anywhere. Every time I think I've made some progress and everything's going great, I do it again.
So, I'm sorry world. I'm sorry to anyone I've hurt without meaning to. I'm sorry for feeling sorry for myself. I'm sorry I'm overly sensitive about things.
This isn't a cry for sympathy—in fact, I don't really want a ton of comments tell me "was it me?" or "I'm sorry if I upset you" because its highly unlikely the person involved will ever read this and respond anyway. The truth is, I just needed to vent. And I'm experiencing my most special time of the month which makes me extremely happy at the moment. It doesn't help that I've been on the verge of depression for no logical reason whatsoever the last couple weeks either.
In other words, I know I'm overreacting and whining. I'm sorry for that too. But, I'll get over it. Thanks for letting me vent about it though! (yes, she's thanking a frickin' blog) I feel better now... ;)
On a happier note though, I had a great time taking pictures with the CallowQueen, MathBuddha and MathBuddha's mom last night. Lot's of fun. Now I get to see if any of them came out... Cross your fingers!!! If they did come out, I'll have to christen my flickr account with some piccies then I'll have to make a new post with some linkies.
(If you couldn't tell, things are slow at work this morning...)
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6 comments:
Love you, and always here for you!
Thanks. I do appreciate it.
I have a couple so-so pictures that I may go ahead and post on flickr, but now I don't have time because I've actually got some work to do. Imagine that! But, I'll try to do it tonight I think.
I understand. Sometimes just trying to communicate can take incredible energy. Maybe it's the idea of a misunderstood artist? Doesn't that make it seem poetic?
Hope you cheer up, chica. I really do.
Thanks. I'm just glad the day's about day's over. It's just been one of those days...
I post written in the aftermath I caused? So sorry!
I wrote this post because of a number of bad things that occurred one right after another in a short period of time, all of them in the same vein. When similar things happen all at once you start thinking wtf is so wrong with me?
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